Showing posts with label support. Show all posts
Showing posts with label support. Show all posts

Monday, August 11, 2014

SABOTAGE STEALS SUCCESS

Posted by whatsapp status on August 11, 2014 with No comments
Sabotage is a strong word to describe the behavior that can sneak into our life and steal the success that healthy eating and exercise has provided our bodies.  It can come in the form of our own thoughts, an unsupportive spouse, friend, and even co-workers. The important thing is to be on guard so that the forms of sabotage can be recognized and dealt with in a way that is healthy, and keeping us on track with our fitness goals. I am not addressing the occasional cheat meal or even day, I am talking about a chronic issue of falling into a trap of being swayed away from a healthy lifestyle, and allowing that to happen.



Living a healthy lifestyle takes mental strength and a loving commitment to maintain our best self through consistent healthy choices each day. Let’s address self-sabotage and how it can creep into our mind and try to convince that “just this once” or “just a few bites” can become part of the healthy plan.  The issue with this type of sabotage is that it does not stop at the “just once or a few bites”.  Often times, this mindset flows into several days, weeks, and even months, and before it is over, the weight loss achieved is back up to where it started, and possibly more than the initial weight. Convincing ourselves that eating crap on a regular basis is never a good thing for our bodies, and remaining on guard so that self-sabotage can be recognized and dealt with immediately is crucial to stay on track with our fitness and health goals. Keeping a daily fitness journal is a helpful accountability tool to keep us on track.

Another sabotage culprit is that wonderful person you live with until death do you part.  Love has nothing to do with sabotage of this type and the non-supportive spouse may not get the whole new health thing or does and is struggling with acceptance of your new healthy lifestyle.  There are many relationships like this and living a healthy lifestyle becomes difficult, as the processed foods and other temptations continue to hide in your pantry and refrigerator.  Sometimes, a spouse turned healthy and leaving the other behind can cause friction in the relationship as guilt trips occur over the change in lifestyle.  It is so important to realize that each person is ready when they are ready and force-feeding a new healthy lifestyle on your spouse will only drive a wedge in the relationship.  As the one wanting to live a healthy lifestyle, model by example, and when the cupcakes come calling, politely say “no thank you” and grab a yogurt and piece of fruit to eat along with your partner. Mental strength has to be on overtime in these circumstances as there will be a daily guarantee of temptation.  Keep that promise of creating your best healthy self and great positive attitude, and almost assuredly your spouse will eventually join you.  Patience will be your best friend here.



Sabotage among friends exists and it can be ugly.  Creating a healthy lifestyle will mean making hard choices and dismissing ourselves from possible temptations that will steal our accomplishments. Some friends may not understand that you no longer want to eat processed foods or drink alcohol all night long, and are happy to provide the peer pressure to get you to fold on your commitment to self.  A strong mental game is definitely a requirement and sometimes a request of support from your friend will be necessary.  A true friend will understand and come alongside of such an important decision and one that does not care will continue to sabotage your efforts. If you continue to hear that it is OK to let your hair down and relax with your program on a continual basis from a so-called friend, you may want to re-think the motives of this friend.  It is unfortunate, but jealousy does exist and can rear an ugly head during such times, and some may not be able accept that your body is changing in beautiful positive ways.  The important thing in this type of situation is to be true to you, regardless of what is said or pressure felt.  Going out can be limited to a glass of wine and water in addition to healthy food selection.  Continue to enjoy your life and implement the healthy choices and the rest will take care of itself.




It seems like there is no safe place for the healthy person to hide from the forms of sabotage and the workplace is no stranger to being involved.  Do you have a break-room filled with daily temptation, or that co-worker who always brings the donuts and gladly sets one on your desk? Put up the mental defense when it comes to accepting sabotage at work because you do have more control here.  Bringing a cooler filled with your healthy planned meals will keep your fingers off the bagels and cream cheese with a side of cookies.  Be stronger than the saboteur and say “thanks but no thanks” to the invitation of work indulgence eating.  If a strong mental game is not put into play, visiting the break-room can become a daily occurrence with the results showing up on the waist line, and a complete derail of the healthy lifestyle you want to implement.


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Thursday, December 20, 2012

The Holidays, Hormones, and Happiness

Posted by whatsapp status on December 20, 2012 with No comments


Lots of changes this year with the family and how this Mom/Trainer will be spending the Christmas Holiday…all good, but different.  It feels weird for me having to adjust to the changes in life and not just for the holidays, but with my hormones.  Thanksgiving month was the start of struggle with marked and increased changes to that which I can only attribute to transitioning into another part of womanhood…OH MY!  I mean really…all at the same time…during the holidays…really, really??? 

I was already having a bit of a time adjusting to the changes occurring with how the holidays would have to be split up as a Mom of adult kids that have their own new agendas…bitter sweet happiness…but still a big adjustment.  Mixed in with the throws of hot flashes, high anxiety, other personal changes,  irritability due to sleep deprivation, just not feeling like ME…GEEZ…the pumpkin seeds just are not cutting the mustard anymore…lol…and for heaven’s sake watermelon season is long gone.  I am so blessed to have such a supportive husband through this journey and  hats off to all the other husbands out there that are understanding and do not take personal all the goings on of menopausal issues…GOLD STARS!

I am such a faith person and celebrate what Christmas means to me as a woman of God, but let me tell you, I have had to have more than a few one on one conversations over  the last two months.  Life can feel overwhelming when hormonal changes are occurring and YES…although I am usually springing about happy as a clam during the cherished holiday season…it just has not felt the same this year.  I understand that it is probably the combo of everything happening at the same time, but YIKEE.  It is even more awkward that I can’t even offer up a good explanation for feeling high anxiety…I already have an A1 personality type anyway which probably does not help.  On top of that, what the heck happened to my energy, stamina, and everything else that felt like Darla…I mean come on now…this is a double REALLY, REALLY?

OK…I am sharing some very personal things right now and please do not confuse it for complaining…I am letting you know that I, just like you,  go through life, experience what every woman of a young, fit almost 50 can go through and it can SUCK.  YES…I said it…some days, it really sucks to not feel like ME…my plug has been pulled right out of the wall and I am holding onto the cord going OK…now what?  You know me…I do not let things get the best of me…so more research was in order and a trip to the doctor.  I have worked with many women who experience peri-menopause and menopause symptoms and although I suspected that this was indeed the culprit invading my inner body space, I needed to rule out the possibilities of medical issues not related.  Believe me, I would have hit the floor with a positive pregnancy test…love babies, love my children, am a grandmother…but that would have definitely sent me to the peri-menopausal special place for TLC.  Whew…negative…let’s move on and off that subject. 

The beautiful thing about life is that we all experience different things when it comes to reaching menopause…some sail through without a scratch, while others, and that would include me, do not necessarily care for the changes that are happening through the process.  So, through my research, I am  giving a natural herb blend menopausal support supplement a try and am hopeful for a positive result after reading the reviews,  understanding each herb independently and the possible benefits/negatives to the body.  The next few months will tell me if I need to take a different direction, but I will keep a positive outlook and in conjunction with the transdermal hormone creams that I use now, what do I have to lose.  I will let you know how it goes a couple of months into my herbal therapy.

What a subject to write about during the holidays, but HERE IT IS…out of my control, happening right now, and Merry Christmas Darla…ho ho  ho.  One of my fabulous clients shared “look at it this way…you will be able to wear white pants now”.  I had to laugh…she was right…love my clients.  As much as I motivate them, there are days that they motivate me without their even knowing it.  I say, I really enjoy my strong coffee in the morning right now too…especially after a night of visits from the” flash club”.  This is a part of my life that I have no control over, except for the introduction of herbal supplements, but that truly does not change that I am changing.  Acceptance of again, the New Modified Me, feels like it needs to repeat itself through my menopausal journey.  Technically, I will not be in true menopause until I have not had a cycle for a year…WHAT???  Ughhh…so, I can be out and about in my new WHITE PANTS and still be surprised…OH FA LA LA LA LA…JOY JOY JOY JOY. 

Honestly, it can feel unfair, but I have experienced all kinds of unfairness in my life, AND all circumstances have been used to grow me in a positive way to be a BETTER, STRONGER, and even MORE FAITHFUL person.  So, I will look upon this part of my life in the same way, and I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY.  In fact, I am HAPPY and have so much to be thankful for with my health, meeting the man I can truly say I LOVE and understand fully what that means and feels like, my children, family, friends, clients, and even the fact that I have a roof over my head and a warm bed to sleep in…more than HAPPY…I am humbled and thankful.  So, when the overwhelming Life is Bigger than ME Menopausal Monster tries to creep into the crevices of my mind and body, I will try really hard to concentrate on all the things positive in my life.  This is in fact a journey that will require patience and TLC, and I know that some days will be more challenging than others, but I also realize that even this experience will enable me to help others, and through that, I will be blessed. 

HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS and Stay Healthy~
From My Family to Yours

Thanks for stopping by my Blog, hope you enjoy the content, and if you have not become a follower yet, I would love to see your face on my friend's list.  If you are inspired, LIKE my entry, leave a comment and I look forward to responding! 
 
Have a FABULOUS weekend and upcoming holiday week!
 
Dedicated to my Always Supportive Hubby, Don
Stay Healthy!
Darla;) 

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Saturday, November 3, 2012

I Have Let Go of Being Hard on Myself

Posted by whatsapp status on November 03, 2012 with No comments

DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF

Believe me this has been a lifetime learning journey and it feels really good to be in this place…peaceful existence, balance with life and self, and overall feeling of AWWW…Life is BETTER than Great!

I can remember being caught up in the stuff that really does not matter in the BIG scheme of life…the house looking just right, what people thought, oh my…my body is not quite there…is that fat on my butt…really???  How many times am I going to give myself the outer thigh pinch test for crying out loud.  Oh…I burned this, and that food presentation does not look perfect, oh…am I saying that just right,  am I doing this right, and, oh no…my diet was not clean today and I have just ruined everything…REALLY?  Enough of that crap already…whew…like I shared earlier…I am so glad to NOT be there anymore. 

We really can be our own worst enemy if we let ourselves.  Thoughts of “not good enough” swirling around in my head years ago are thankfully gone, praise God that is for certain.   As I reach almost 50, I have to say that I have let go of being hard on myself…I mean what the heck would be the point.  I do not need the acceptance or approval of others to be ME, although as I shared earlier, I know how that feels to be in that ugly place.  Also, coming from a position of fitness competition, and featured here and there, I admit, I felt pressure to look a certain way, be a certain way, always on guard to public scrutiny and needing to be THAT GIRL…always in shape…perfect as some say…but…even then and now…I was and am FAR from that YUCK word.  As I have shared many times…PERFECT DOES NOT EXIST except in fairy tales and photo shop…what a mind @%#& life can throw a person if you let it. 

Moving to the NOW Darla…I do not “Sweat the Small Stuff” and I will certainly leave a few dishes in the sink and not worry about the pillow arrangement on the sofa when family and friends come over…I mean are they coming to see my dishes or me…taking that pressure off myself for years now feels FABULOUS and I really enjoy the precious moments of Life.  Am I saying that I do not take pride in my home and self… of course not…I am NO piggy.   What I am saying is my priorities have changed and I have a happy lived in home.  When my time comes to leave this life, will my regrets be…I should have made sure the dishes were done all the time, the house was spotless, and all the streaks off the mirrors, work more…NO WAY…in fact, I do not want any regrets…I want my life to be full of meaningful moments with my family and friends, and helping people adapt healthy lives.  What does this have to do with maintaining a healthy ME?  Let me tell you…STRESS relief plays a big role in feeling great about who I am and life in general.

Not stressing over things that do not warrant attention and giving attention to those things worthy of my attention are important to living a healthy life in my book.  I am not going to bash myself for hours on end for eating a splurge meal for example and thinking that I have ruined my life and health.  I am living life for heaven’s sake.  One or two splurge meals are not going to make or break my fitness health bank as the old ME would have thought.  NOPE…not going to sustain my body on boiled fish and broccoli as a lifetime routine…YUCK …not realistic and truly not sustainable for a lifetime of healthy eating.  My body definitely needs all the variety that comes from a variety of healthy foods…and I LOVE food to taste good…did I mention the spicier the better:) 

Taking a deep breath each morning and being a thankful woman for my health, my hubby, family, this body,  home,  job, and so many other things that often  get taken for granted like the beauty all around me is what fills me with absolute happiness.  Am I saying that I do not take care of myself physically and through my healthy foods…now that would be ridiculous…I have not gone rebel on you and saying that this is not important.  I live an example of a healthy life through my fitness and nutrition and share that with you as much as I can. I would be a hypocrite and not even be able to represent myself as a trainer and motivator if I did not live a healthy lifestyle.

 I have relaxed so much with acceptance of whom I am, loving my body as it is with all the changes that come with the aging process,  and knowing what is important as I have shared before…Being the BEST version of ME given my genetics and medical issues.  Genetically, I would have to say that I have my father’s long, lean look, and I have had to work hard to put muscle on this body to add the curves that I like.  So, I will no longer be a slave to society’s view of what Darla should look like, and I have let that go for years now, and celebrate the fact that it feels so good to NOT be hard on myself.  What I will say about myself is that I am a dedicated woman when it comes to being a healthy person and take the time and effort to ensure that my body is exercised and fed healthy food on a consistent basis…but being over the top obsessed to the point that my life is negatively affected…NO WAY!  Life is about beautiful balance, health in the physical, nutritional, and I can’t stress enough how important it has been for me to really key into my emotional and spiritual life.  Talk about feeling carefree, and open to sharing my life and being REAL…that is what I am all about.  

IN YOUR FACE MOTIVATIONS 




Me with My Fabulous Daughter Hope
Thanks for stopping by my Blog, hope you enjoy the content, and if you have not become a follower yet, I would love to see your face on my friend's list.  If you are inspired, LIKE my entry, leave a comment and I look forward to responding! 
 
Have a FABULOUS weekend and upcoming week!
 
Stay Healthy!
Darla;)


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Friday, September 21, 2012

BIG SHOULDERS

Posted by whatsapp status on September 21, 2012 with No comments



Well…not as big as they used to be physically but my mental and emotional shoulders are definitely making up for that loss…lol.  What the heck does this have to do with fitness, my life, my health…I say everything!



When you are in a position of internet personality, helping people from around the world, bravely putting yourself out there for all to see through images, videos, and opinions…well…the mental shoulders get well developed.   As you know, I am a say it like it is person, trainer, consultant, coach, expert and any other name that gets tagged onto “Darla” the fitness gal.  In this position, I MUST remain POSITIVE  and let things roll off my back like a duck sometimes.  The majority of the time, I am taken with appreciation, and thankfulness from so many for providing the hope they thought was never possible…touching to me as my purpose to help has been accomplished.

The other side of the coin can be exactly the opposite and filled with statements from people who do not take the time to know ME and jump into an attitude of sharing only judgments and negative comments.  I can read through that into an unhappy soul who really wants to be healthy and the BEST, but not at a place in their life and unwilling to make that happen, and it is always easiest to lash out at someone than take responsibility for self.   Really…I would like to reach out and give all those people a hug…NO…I really do…because they just need to have the encouragement and love to realize their fabulous potential. 

 















I do not need to go into statement details but anyone who sits in my position as a fitness expert who has put themselves out there understands the lashings that can come in reference to a fit body, workouts,  personal life, sharing success stories, making opinions and comments, and even recipes for crying out loud.  I was taught never to judge a book by its cover and this is so important in life, but especially in what I do for a living as I see people of all shapes and sizes…and they are ALL FABULOUS!!!  Could you imagine if I was a judgmental person…well…NO WAY…I could not do my job if I was running people into the ground for being too heavy, too skinny, low self esteem, body image issues, hairstyle, clothes, and the list can go on and on…how in the world would I MOTIVATE or help anyone with that mindset…I mean what in the heck is up with a judgmental mentality anyway.  Who am I to judge…am I God…NO…I am Darla, the person who just so happens to come to YOU daily through different internet mediums to In Your Face MOTIVATE YOU. 

I LOVE my Big Shoulders because they provide me with emotional strength and the ability to “not sweat the small stuff” in this life.  They give me a very caring spirit and the understanding that negative statements usually come from people who are truly hurting, bitter from personal issues or life events not dealt with yet, and who really want and need help, but just do not know how to be vulnerable enough to let those feelings out in a healthy way to start the healing process.  In my position of trainer, consultant and coach, I wear many hats, and during the times of hearing or receiving negative comments, I throw on the “coaching/therapist hat” and become the BEST listener in this moment, keying in on any details that I may be able to offer help, dig deep into who that person is, provide insight and  validation, but at the same time, provide the guidance that says…HEY…TODAY is a new day and time to toss the old crap to the curb and begin a new healthy lifestyle…you get the picture. 

 The beautiful part about my life is that I choose to be POSITIVE in ALL circumstances,  personally surround myself with people who will nourish my soul in a positive way, and lean on one of my favorite quotes that states “Life is 10% What Happens to You and 90% How You Respond to It.”   Does that mean that I avoid all negative people, situations, and comments in my work…of course not…this is not realistic in my position...I am surrounded by people on a daily basis physically and online who are going through things that they are healing from or do not even realize they need help with, and all that is needed are some Big Shoulders to take on the task of helping and healing.  Am I ever offended by such comments and sucked down to a point of OH MY…WHY DO I CONTINUE TO PUT MYSELF OUT THERE….well…the answer is a Big Hell No.  If anything, I feel challenged to help even more…I always have HOPE, always PERSEVERE, and do not believe in failure…in fact, in my opinion, failure is GOOD and a stepping stone to dusting off and becoming a better person.  In this journey called life, I will continue to develop my Big Shoulders, continue to MOTIVATE…some may like me and some may not…that is OK and out of my control…but I will push forward with the cause of helping people adapt healthy lives…and for my Big Shoulders…ABSOLUTELY LOVE THEM!  Stay Healthy~

IN YOUR FACE MOTIVATIONS 



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Thanks for stopping by my Blog, hope you enjoy the content, and if you have not become a follower yet, I would love to see your face on my friend's list.  If you are inspired, LIKE my entry, leave a comment and I look forward to responding! 

Have a Fabulous Week!

Stay Healthy!

Darla;)